Coff! Oink! Coff!

Urgh! Just had a horrible week, on Thursday my temperature started giong through the roof, and I barely had the energy to crawl into bed. Having crawled there I then spend the next 3 days sleeping, sweating, getting cold, moving to the sofa, sleeping, getting hot, moving to my bed, repeat every couple of hours until the mists start to clear... Then by Monday I felt like I'd been kicked in the chest by a horse, which then whipped a grater out of it's pocket and gave the inside of my chest a quick going over to keep things interesting.
On Monday I had one of those phone consultations (the marvels of modern medical science - doctors can now tell what's wrong with you even though they are sitting 5 miles away!) I was told I probably had swine flu "there's a lot of it about" and a chest infection - have some antibiotics and some Tamiflu for your husband - go back to bed and stay there for another 3 days.
Which I more or less did.
I have no idea what I've been eating. Not much I suppose, but my husband has been giving me treats, and I've not had the strength to refuse ;)
However now I am better (although I still have an annoying cough) so I have to re-introduce myself to the Spark People nutrition tracker and get cracking.

Triumph?

I have lost all contact with my hunger and satisfaction impulses. I eat when I see or smell something nice - heck, I just need to see someone tucking into something on the telly to think "hmmm I fancy a sandwich...." You don't fancy a sandwich! You saw someone eating a sandwich in the background on that programme! You are not really hungry!!!

Over the last few days I've been observing myself, looking out for hunger pangs, seeing if I can recognise them, and you know what? I can't tell the difference between a full stomach and an empty one!

Today I had a rushed lunch and could only eat half my sandwich, I kept the rest and ate it at about four, I don't know if I was hungry or just felt sorry for myself because people were leaving work and I still had an hour and a half to go. I ate the sandwich, enjoyed it, and savoured the full feeling after I ate it. Then 5:30 came and I thought I would pack up and leave. As I went down the stairs I started rationalising:

I never had any fruit today, just a single sandwich (but a mujaddarah one - lentil, like dahl, it is known as cement for the stomach) ah, but just the one sandwich after all, I'll just take a look at the vending machine, I've had no biscuits or sweets or fruit.... I can feel a sensation in my stomach, I must be hungry.

So I did go to the vending machine, I promised I would take only the smallest lowest calorie thing in it, and there was my favourite, a Topic 237 calories! no. But look - a Ripple, I love Galaxy chocolate, a Ripple is full of air, hardly eating anything, only 175 calories, oh look a Bounty - if I eat half that's only 134 calories... At that point I stood back and took a look at myself (a metaphorical look, I was still watching the chocolate) "When have you ever stopped at half a Bounty?" I looked at that case of goodies - then decided this is stupid and turned around. I had realised that sensation in my stomach wasn't hunger - it was fullness. A subtle difference but I think I'll have to listen to my body, and use my brain to interpret the sensations - after thinking about when and what I last ate.

And the triumph? Being able to walk away from that machine without a second glance, savouring the fullness of my stomach, and not feeling that I was depriving myself .

Walking in Dalkeith

Today was mild and pleasant - not at all like a late October day! I went for my usual walk - who would have thought I could walk a mile a day? Voluntarily? I'm really glad to be doing it. I do a quick turn around the streets near my office, ending up in a park. It's nice to see the children playing there on fine days and just as nice to have the place to myself when it's dull or windy.
I've been doing this for several weeks now, but on my return today I decided to continue through the centre of Dalkeith and have a peek in a couple of shops. Big mistake. The centre of Dalkeith is full of bakeries and cafes, and the all pervading smell of pastries and fried food nearly broke my resolve! It would have been so nice to just pop into Greggs for a chicken bake, or even a sausage roll! Fortunately it passed, and I left the shops smartish and returned to my office where I thoroughly enjoyed my beans and rice.

Good Walk Today

Today I walked right up to the Bluecairn crossroads, probably a mile up the hill. I really enjoyed it, it was overcast and there was a slight breeze, but that just meant I didn't get too hot.
I saw some windmills that I think are from the new windfarm over at Stow, and some sheep with curly horns. Most sheep are de-horned when they are young (I think) anyway you rarely see sheep with horns. Even the lambs had wee horns. It was a good walk, then I went to the Lowood nursery and spent too much on plants but I did get six good plants and I could quite easily have spent 4 times as much so I am quite pleased with myself :-)

Not a Great Day

Today has been a complete disaster. I started the day hungry and had a ham toastie for breakfast, then pasta for lunch and I bought some Lyons coconut tarts - and ate 3 of them! Aaaargh! After that a Magnum seemed appropriate and when Mum offered me half her fish supper I thought I might as well. Oh bad, bad, bad.
On the plus side I walked up past Fordswell nearly reaching Jeaniefield. I was pleased with that, and I enjoyed it.

Lost a Stone!

Hooray that's me reached the stone! I am very pleased with myself. Now if only I could lose another pound and a half (well 2) I would slip under the 16 stone mark. Which would be nice.

Up the Hill!

Walked up to Fordswell today - the hill nearly killed me! Checking the map I crossed 3 contour lines, now how far apart are they?

Back on Track

Well hopefully that's me back on track now. I did have a bit of a hiccup last Friday when I had a Greggs Chicken Bake along with my lunch, then in for a penny, I had a chinese meal for my dinner Kung Po Chicken and Fried Rice! Crisps on Saturday and I don't know what I ate on Sunday! I obviously managed to pull it back though because I managed to lose 2.5lb over the week. I hope there hasn't been some kind of delayed reaction... I am trying to be good this week.

Back again!

Hmmm. I have not been covering myself with glory lately. Halla came home bearing gifts of chocolate and all pretence at dieting went out the window! I was too embarrassed to go to be weighed for 3 weeks but when I eventually went back today I find I have not done as badly as I feared! Thank goodness.
Back on track now :-)

Bit Better Now :-)

Well I did a lot better this week!
Last week I was really worried that 1400 calories would not be enough of a drop to lose weight - would I have to go down to 1200 already?
Oh that would be too hard - I was saving that little joy up for when I get too light to lose at this level. Fortunately 1400 was enough.
I suspect a scales glitch, but never mind, I'm deliriously happy at having lost 12lb to date.
I managed to use the stairs at work all week and today (being the first day of 'next week') I went for a lunchtime walk. Just a short one, I only had limited time, but I walked for 20-25 minutes and really enjoyed it. I didn't enjoy the stairs afterward but soon the stairs should stop being a problem.... I'll let you know when *that* happens!
I'm slightly less worried now about going out for lunch on Monday, same place as on my birthday, but I'll not have the G&T!

Scary numbers? 16st 4.5lbs

Not a great week :(

I had a really disappointing weigh in on Tuesday, and I don't really understand why. I didn't record all my food over the weekend, maybe I misjudged things then. I didn't think the entire chocolate egg (395 calories oops!) I ate on Monday would have had an impact by the next day! But maybe it did.
However since then I have been trying to be good, but not too good. I'm trying to stay within 1400 calories a day and I am taking the stairs at work, with a plan to start lunchtime walks next week. If there is no result on Tuesday I'll just have to limit myself to 1200 calories, but I didn't want to do that yet.

Happy Birthday to Me!

Happy Birthday to me! Birthday cake for breakfast, G&T and a nice restaurant meal for lunch, toast and butter as a treat after tea. But still the damage was only about 1700 calories! That's good, I'm feeling sinful and virtuous all at the same time :-) Must keep it up!

Weigh Day!

Tuesday is weigh day! 6.5 pounds lost - not to be sniffed at, particularly wearing shoes (no shoes last time) The aerobics class was marginally easier this time but I was still puce at the end of it!

Result - 16 stones 10 pounds :-)

(starting weight amended - it should have been 17st 2.5 lbs)

A Difficult Day

It's 3 o'clock and I'm starving. I'm never going to manage this. I will have a treat of some kind and a coffee, but maybe I'll have water now, go for a walk and have the treat when I come back. It can be a reward.
Now it's 4:15 and I'm all warm and flushed after a 45 minute walk. Down to the Upper Blainslie sign and back - hopefully a mile each way, I'll check tomorrow. I've certainly earned a treat and a coffee, but I'm not so desparate at the moment.
Having promised myself a treat I had one, a Cadbury's mini roll and a coffee, and I had a meat pie for tea!
In the end, once I'd crossed that difficult patch, the day actually went well.

Food, Food, Food!

This is proving so hard this time. I am thinking about food all the time. I'm not particularly hungry, just thinking about food and calories. Food used to be a natural activity, I saw it I ate it but now it's a coonscious activity. I see it, can I afford it? How many calories will that be? If I eat it now will I regret it? or want more later? That is a snapshot of the constant conversation running through my mind. I hope I see the benefit on Tuesday.

Yet Another New Start

So here we go again. I've started a new diet. I'm going to my local community group Lauder Lites which is a group of local people who are all following their own diet plans but are coming together for a weigh-in and to celebrate the total weight loss for the group. Hopefully next week I will be contributing to that total. There is also an aerobics session after the meeting. Can you imagine? My first aerobics class for about 20 years! I managed it though, mainly by stepping where they were jumping although I did occasionally leave the floor - but not often!

Start weight 17st 2lb
There is no way to dress that up, it's just awful.